My Partner Has ED And He Is Not The Only One Affected

Written by the UPGUYS Editorial Team

Published on February 05, 2020

A guide to dealing with Erectile Dysfunction as a team.

Problems in the bedroom, like Erectile Dysfunction (ED), do not just end there! It’s common knowledge. They touch and infect everything between the couple; no conversation can take place without the shadow of the elephant in the room! Little by little the frustration and disappointment will take charge of the whole relationship.

When we talk about ED, we naturally think of men who are experiencing this uncomfortable problem. But the fact is that they are not the only ones affected by it! ED would eventually take its toll on their partner’s confidence and gets in the way of a good relationship. 

The good news is that ED is treatable! But, like everything else in a relationship, the solution starts with the couple. Since it is a sensitive topic, some postpone or do not know how to start the conversation! Here, we talk about some tips and hints to help. 

Bear in mind, though, that this conversation can not and should not be forced! Both parties need to be open to it, and it might take some time to get your partner there. Be that as it may, it is worth the wait!

Don’t be quick to self-blame

When a man has ED, it does not mean that he is not into you. Period. In many cases, couples tend to blame one another for any other problem that may occur in the bedroom. But in this case, the first thing that most women think about is that they did something wrong or worse, that they are no longer attractive to their partner. This does not just end there; men too, are quick to blame themselves for ED. And nothing good can come from blaming. The fact is that it is not what either one of you has done.

Take care of yourself first

We’ve all heard the “put your oxygen mask on first” hundreds of times on planes. It is true for almost every critical situation in life. There is no way one can help their partner while they, themselves, are suffering from a severe lack of confidence and self-doubt! 

The first thing you should do for yourself is to stop pretending! This pretence will build up anger inside you! It’s OK to acknowledge that something is not right and needs some attention. Talk to a professional if it makes you feel better. The bottom line, you need to know that it is not your fault and there is nothing you could do to prevent it.

Educate yourself about the situation

The more you know about a situation, the quicker you can find a solution to it. You and your partner are in this together, like everything else that you share. Read more and collect info to get more acquainted and prepared to help your partner, as well as your relationship.

Communicate

Find the right time and the right words! Remember that your partner is under a lot of pressure too. Tell him how you feel and what you have experienced in all this. Let him know that you value him and that you don’t blame him for it. Tell him that it is very common and that most men go through this at some point in their lives. You both should know that masculinity and sexual performance are NOT the same things. One thing that might be useful at this stage is suggesting a visit to a doctor. You can offer to be with him for the consultation to let him know that he is not alone.

It IS treatable

There is the good news: ED is treatable! Changing lifestyle habits can change the situation for the better in many cases. Unhealthy lifestyles that need to change include excessive drinking or smoking, obesity and absence of regular exercise, lack of essential vitamins and minerals, and of course, stress. 

Bear in mind, though, that a lot of times, it might be a sign of an underlying health issue that needs to be taken care of. Therefore, if it keeps happening regularly, it’s time to see a doctor. It might feel awkward at first, but they are professionals, and they know how to lead the conversation. There are many medications that might be right for you to treat ED and help you keep burning the fire. What you need to do is to take the first step!