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How Not To Cum Fast? Expert Tips For Prolonging Pleasure And Overcoming Premature Ejaculation

UPGUYS > Blog > Sex > How Not to Cum Fast? Expert Tips for Prolonging Pleasure and Overcoming Premature Ejaculation
The person who wrote this article

Written by the UPGUYS Editorial Team
Published on August 17, 2023

Premature Ejaculation (PE) is a common sexual problem where ejaculation occurs sooner than a person or their partner would like during sexual activity. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy, stress, and friction within relationships, as sexual satisfaction is a crucial component of a healthy intimate bond.

PE can impact not only the individual’s self-confidence but also their partner’s sense of satisfaction and fulfillment. The repercussions go beyond the bedroom, often causing emotional distress and relationship tension.

However, PE is a manageable condition, and the focus of this article is to provide you with effective techniques to last longer in bed. We aim to help you enhance sexual endurance, thereby improving the overall sexual experience and promoting more satisfying intimate relationships.

By exploring these strategies, individuals can regain control, increasing their sexual stamina and mutual pleasure.

Topics covered in this article:

Understanding Premature Ejaculation

In order to comprehend Premature Ejaculation (PE), we first need to understand the typical ejaculatory process. This process is a coordinated sequence of events involving multiple stages: arousal, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. Ejaculation usually occurs during the orgasm stage, involving the expulsion of semen through the penis.

Premature ejaculation (PE) is characterized by:

  1. Regular and unwanted ejaculation within less than 2,3 minutes of penetration.
  2. An inability to delay ejaculation during intercourse most of the time.
  3. Negative personal consequences, such as stress, frustration, and avoidance of sexual intimacy.

The causes of PE are varied and can be both physical and psychological:

  1. Physical causes can include hormonal imbalances, abnormal levels of neurotransmitters, inflammation or infection of the prostate or urethra, and inherited traits.
  2. Psychological causes might encompass early sexual experiences, sexual abuse, depression, anxiety, guilt, worry about sexual performance, or relationship problems.

Mental Techniques To Enhance Endurance

The mental state plays a pivotal role in sexual performance. A calm and focused mind can significantly improve control over ejaculation. Here are several techniques to alleviate performance anxiety and stress, thereby helping to delay ejaculation:

1. Deep Breathing Exercises

This simple yet effective technique can help calm your nervous system and decrease sexual tension. By focusing on slow, deep breaths, you can manage arousal levels, and in turn, delay ejaculation.

2. Visualization and Positive Affirmations

Visualization involves creating a mental image of desired outcomes, while positive affirmations require self-empowering statements. These techniques can help reduce performance anxiety and foster a more satisfying sexual experience.

3. Mindfulness Meditation

Mindfulness involves being fully engaged in the present moment without judgment or distraction. In terms of sexual performance, mindfulness can help you better understand your arousal and excitement, providing greater control over your ejaculatory reflex.

Implementing these mental techniques can significantly enhance your sexual stamina, helping you master the art of not climaxing too quickly. The key is consistently practicing to become more adept at managing your arousal levels.

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Pelvic Floor Strengthening for Ejaculation Control

The muscles in your pelvic floor play a crucial role in ejaculation control. These muscles, specifically the pubococcygeus (PC) muscle, regulate the flow of semen and urine and contract during orgasm. A stronger PC muscle allows you greater control over your ejaculatory reflex, thereby aiding in delaying ejaculation.

One effective way to strengthen these muscles is through exercises, like Kegel:

  1. How to perform Kegel exercises: Begin by identifying your pelvic floor muscles, usually achieved by stopping urination mid-stream. Once identified, tighten these muscles, hold for five seconds, then relax for five seconds. Try doing this for 5 minutes a day, gradually increasing your hold time to 10 seconds.
  2. Benefits of Kegel exercises: Regular Kegel exercises can enhance your ability to delay ejaculation, improve orgasm intensity, and boost overall sexual performance.

Besides Kegels, other pelvic floor exercises include “bridges,” “squats,” and “pelvic tilt exercises,” which all work to strengthen your pelvic floor muscles and enhance control over ejaculation. Regular practice can be a game-changer in the quest to extend sexual performance.

Self-Practice: Masturbation for Ejaculation Control

Masturbation is not just a route to sexual satisfaction, but it also serves as a practical tool for enhancing ejaculatory control. By understanding and manipulating arousal through self-pleasure, one can improve their stamina during sexual activities.

Read more: Empowering Masturbation Tips for Ultimate Satisfaction and Self-Discovery

Two effective techniques include:

1- Edging

Edging involves masturbating until you feel close to climax, then stopping stimulation until the sensation subsides. By repeating this cycle, you learn to identify and manage your ‘point of no return.

How to practice edging effectively: Begin by stimulating yourself, and when you reach a high level of arousal, pause. Allow the feeling of imminent climax to diminish before resuming stimulation. Repeat this pattern multiple times during each masturbation session.

2- Stop-Start Method

Similar to edging, the stop-start method focuses on recognizing your pre-orgasmic state and pausing stimulation.

Step-by-step guide: Start masturbating and halt before reaching climax. Rest, then start again, repeating this cycle several times before finally allowing ejaculation. This trains your body and mind to delay ejaculation during sexual encounters.

By incorporating these techniques into your self-pleasure routine, you can significantly improve your control over ejaculation, helping you last longer during sex. Remember, patience and practice are key in this learning process.

Shared Journey: Partner Role in Delaying Ejaculation

Open communication with your partner about premature ejaculation (PE) is critical for overcoming this challenge. Expressing your concerns can alleviate performance anxiety, while also paving the way for mutual understanding and support.

Involving your partner in the training process can provide additional benefits. As well as strengthening emotional intimacy, it also enables them to understand the techniques you are using and actively participate in the process.

Read more: Navigating Erectile Problems with a New Girlfriend

A few mutual techniques for prolonging pleasure and satisfaction include:

  1. Extended Foreplay: Prolonging the initial stages of sexual activity can help delay ejaculation, providing more time for mutual satisfaction.
  2. The Squeeze Technique: When nearing climax, have your partner squeeze the base of your penis for 10-20 seconds. This can delay ejaculation and help you last longer.
  3. Change Sexual Positions: Certain positions, like side-by-side or ‘spooning,’ may decrease the intensity of stimulation, helping to prolong the sexual experience.

Remember, teamwork can make the journey toward improved sexual endurance more enjoyable and successful. An understanding supportive partner can be instrumental in mastering control over ejaculation.

Behavioral Methods: Tactics for Prolonged Pleasure

Several behavioral techniques can assist in delaying ejaculation and extending sexual pleasure:

1. Squeeze Technique

This is a method developed by Masters and Johnson, famous sex therapists. During sexual activity, when you feel close to climaxing, you or your partner squeeze the base of the penis for about 20 seconds. This pause can diminish the urge to ejaculate, thereby extending the sexual encounter.

2. Distraction Techniques

Shifting your focus to non-sexual thoughts during sex can help lower arousal levels temporarily. However, it’s important to use this technique sparingly to maintain overall satisfaction and intimacy.

3. Setting Realistic Expectations

It’s crucial to understand that sex isn’t a performance but an act of mutual pleasure. Shifting the focus from lasting longer to creating an enjoyable experience for both parties can alleviate performance anxiety, consequently helping to delay ejaculation.

By combining these techniques with the mental and physical exercises discussed earlier, you can increase your control over ejaculation, enhancing both your and your partner’s sexual satisfaction.

Read moreEffective home remedies for premature ejaculation

Condoms and Products for Endurance

In addition to various techniques, certain products can also assist in delaying ejaculation:

  1. Delay Condoms: These condoms are infused with a mild anesthetic, typically benzocaine, which can help to slightly numb the penis, thereby reducing sexual sensation and helping to delay ejaculation.
  2. Desensitizing Products: These include delay sprays, creams, or gels that contain numbing agents like lidocaine or prilocaine. While these can effectively delay ejaculation, they may also reduce sexual sensation for both you and your partner.

Read more: Mastering Delay Sprays: Benefits, Side Effects & Guide

When choosing these products, consider your personal preferences and sensitivities. The key is to find a balance between reducing oversensitivity (which can cause PE) and maintaining enough sensitivity for pleasurable sexual experiences.

Always remember to use these products as recommended by the manufacturer, and stop using them if you experience any discomfort or adverse reactions.

Wellness Boost: Lifestyle Habits for Better Endurance

Your overall health can significantly impact sexual performance. Adopting healthy lifestyle habits can help improve your endurance and ejaculation control:

  1. Diet and Nutrition: A balanced diet is crucial for overall health and sexual stamina. Include lean proteins, fruits, vegetables, and whole grains in your diet. Foods rich in Zinc, such as oysters, beef, and spinach, can also enhance libido and regulate testosterone levels.
  2. Exercise and Physical Fitness: Regular physical activity can improve blood circulation, reduce stress, enhance endurance, and increase sexual performance. Cardio exercises like running or swimming can boost your stamina, while yoga and pelvic floor exercises can improve ejaculation control.

A healthy lifestyle is foundational for optimal sexual health. By combining nutritional, physical, and mental health efforts, you can enhance your overall well-being and consequently improve your sexual endurance.

Seeking Aid: When To Consult a Professional

While many men find success with the techniques and habits discussed, sometimes professional help may be necessary for persistent premature ejaculation (PE):

  1. Consulting a Healthcare Professional or Sex Therapist: If PE continues to be a persistent issue despite self-help strategies, it may be time to consult a professional. They can provide specialized techniques, strategies, and treatments to address the issue more effectively.
  2. Medical Treatments and Medications: Prescription medications, such as certain antidepressants or topical anesthetics, can be used to manage PE. These treatments should always be used under the supervision of a healthcare provider.
  3. Addressing Underlying Health Issues: PE can sometimes be a symptom of other health issues, such as hormonal imbalance, anxiety, or prostate problems. If your healthcare provider suspects an underlying condition, addressing it could resolve your PE.

Remember, there’s no shame in seeking help. Healthcare professionals and therapists are equipped to handle these issues with discretion and professionalism, helping you achieve a more fulfilling sexual experience.

Talk to a doctor now

Key Takeaways

Premature ejaculation is a common concern for many men, but there are numerous techniques, habits, and products available to help manage it.

  1. Mental exercises, such as mindfulness and visualization, can aid in reducing performance anxiety, while physical practices, like Kegel exercises and specific masturbation techniques, can improve ejaculation control.
  2. Open communication with your partner can enhance understanding and mutual satisfaction.
  3. Products such as delay condoms and desensitizing sprays can provide additional support.
  4. Maintaining a healthy lifestyle, including a balanced diet and regular exercise, can also boost overall sexual health and performance.

If PE continues to persist despite these strategies, professional help from a healthcare provider or sex therapist can offer further assistance. Remember, patience and practice are crucial, and everyone’s journey toward improved sexual endurance is unique.


Throughout this article, we’ve explored a myriad of strategies aimed at helping individuals understand and address premature ejaculation (PE).

We’ve highlighted the importance of mental and physical exercises, including mindfulness techniques, Kegel exercises, and specific masturbation methods, in enhancing sexual stamina. We’ve also examined how open communication with partners, behavioral methods, useful products, and overall healthy lifestyle habits can significantly contribute to delaying ejaculation.

Remember, dealing with PE is a journey that requires patience and consistent practice. It’s important not to rush the process but instead celebrate each step toward improved control and endurance. Implementing these techniques and strategies can bring about meaningful changes, leading to a more satisfying and enjoyable sexual experience.

Read morePremature Ejaculation In Sensitive Penis

Above all, always keep in mind that everyone’s sexual journey is unique, and it’s okay to seek professional help if you find these strategies aren’t enough. After all, the ultimate goal is your sexual satisfaction and overall well-being.


1. What is premature ejaculation (PE)?

Premature ejaculation is a condition where a man ejaculates earlier than he or his partner would like during sexual activity. It’s one of the most common sexual complaints and can affect men at any age.

2. What causes premature ejaculation?

There are many potential causes, including physical conditions such as hormonal imbalances or nerve damage, and psychological factors like performance anxiety, stress, or relationship issues. Sometimes, PE can occur due to a combination of physical and psychological factors.

3. Can PE be cured?

While there may not be a one-size-fits-all ‘cure,’ PE can certainly be managed effectively using a variety of techniques and methods, including behavioral strategies, mental exercises, pelvic floor exercises, and even certain products. In some cases, consulting with a healthcare professional or a sex therapist can be beneficial.

4. How can I delay ejaculation during sex?

There are various techniques to help delay ejaculation, including the stop-start method, the squeeze technique, and distraction methods. Other strategies involve improving overall sexual health through a balanced diet, regular exercise, and mindfulness practices.

5. Can PE affect fertility?

PE does not directly affect fertility. However, if ejaculation does not occur within the vagina, it may make it difficult for couples trying to conceive.

6. Is it okay to use desensitizing sprays or delay condoms?

Yes, it’s okay to use these products, and they can be very effective. However, they should be used responsibly, and it’s important to follow the manufacturer’s instructions. If you experience any discomfort or adverse reactions, discontinue use and consult a healthcare provider.

7. When should I seek professional help?

If PE persists and causes distress or affects your sexual relationship, and you don’t find relief from the self-help strategies, it may be time to seek help from a healthcare professional or sex therapist. They can provide more specialized strategies and treatments.

Remember, it’s normal and okay to seek help for sexual health issues. There’s no need to feel embarrassed about it, and healthcare professionals are equipped to handle these issues with discretion and professionalism.


UPGUYS has strict sourcing guidelines to ensure our content is accurate and current. We rely on peer-reviewed studies, academic research institutions, and medical associations. We strive to use primary sources and refrain from using tertiary references.

This article is written for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. The information provided in the articles cannot and should not replace advice from a healthcare professional. Talk to your healthcare provider about any physical or mental health concerns or the risks and benefits of any treatment or medication.